I missed three days in a row.
(Title unrelated to content)
When I started to write on Medium, it was with one goal: write for twenty five minutes a day, and publish. The content could range from personal to abstract to self-referentially repetitive (have I told you yet that I’m writing here for twenty five minutes?) — the point being this a practice and a commitment I am keeping.
I’m getting shy again. I notice myself self-editing and criticizing the words on the page. The judge is peering over the shoulder, saying: Nu, what’s your point?
I’m not going to take the bait this time. I know what the point is (practice! and showing up), I’ve said this enough times and the judge won’t ever be satisfied.
The voice is speaking again, asking: Why are you writing this? Why are you sharing it? What are you adding to the world?
Maybe the words are spoken through the critic, but the questions come from a deeper place.
What am I adding to the world? Am I needed?
This is the question and the quest. The desire to be needed and to be valued is the source of anxiety and passion, action and drive.
In ‘Man is Not Alone,’ Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel writes:
Most of us do not know the answer to one of the most important questions, namely, what is our ultimate concern?
We do not know what to pray for; it is the liturgy that teaches us.
The twenty five minutes are almost up, and I am surprised by what has emerged, is emerging still.
(What’s the point?
It’s IN PROGRESS)
but celebrate the process practice progress as it goes. How much can you really do it twenty five minutes?