Messages From The BodyMind
About growth and change, written in prose-poetry. It’s honest and unfiltered (and a little rambly).
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Oh.
I didn’t know.
That growth would be so clumsy, that I would feel so mistaken.
Adolescent and in process,
kind of awkward and misshapen.
I guess this is transition,
(it’s a process)
it’s maturation.
I leave voice messages to friends
saying: listen, I have hips!, and my body shape is shifting.
I have responsibilities and commitments
I need to make some life decisions.
I feel love that’s unrequited
I feel wanting that’s too big.
I feel feelings feel feel feelings,
writing feelings feeling writing
writing sharing writing online
it’s
(I don’t know).
I’m looking for distractions
I’m looking for redemption
I’m craving satisfaction
I’m experiencing contention
it’s the mind it won’t be quiet
it was quiet for so long
it was sleeping, somewhat dormant
it’s awake and kind of uneasy
it’s searching for confirmation
that the things I do are pleasing
it’s needing validation
notifications, yes more please
it’s long form words, free-writing
Wait.
the rhythm wants to change, to something smoother and slower and drifting like waves. Relax and soften, it’s safe to be here, I’m okay. I’m I-don’t-know, I’m going crazy, I’m tired, let me be. In the morning when I wake up I will go straight to the sea. I’ll watch the waters glow with morning and see the joggers running steady. I’ll drink tea and bring my journal and then in my own way I’ll get ready, ready, ready, ready for the day ahead, the best day of my life.
Okay.
This was something.
This was words, words on a page.
This was rambles, is still rambles, is still going, is
Enough.
Enough.
There’s no more right now to say.
Except thank you, always thank you,
for showing up again today.
